PRIOR PROPER PREPARATION PREVENTS POOR PERFORMANCE

We decided to RE-POST this to help you check yourself once again.


I am very much convinced that a lot of people want to get married, but what I am not certain about is if they really want to prepare for it. It is true that a lot of single people out there are looking for eligible partners for marriage, but the question is how many people are ready to make themselves the right man or the right woman for marriage?

Preparation for marriage means getting yourself ready in so many ways to share your life with another, and if you have chosen to share your life with another, then you better make sure that the quality of life you want to share is worth it at the end of the day. Talking about quality of life, you may want to ask yourself how sound you are Spiritually (and by that I am not talking about the fact that you belong to a place of worship alone, but that you have a personal conviction that God exist and that He is a re warder of those that diligently seek Him), Emotionally (meaning you feel good about yourself and can handle without breaking down, how others feel about you without taking things out of balance) Psychologically (your thoughts are not out of balance. Your perceptions of things around you are in order. There is no dysfunctional properties in your life that will always make it difficult for you to adjust properly to your work, personal life, significant others in your life, money etc, Financially (you have acquired skills in life that is able to make you add value to others who in turn pay you for a job well done, and you are able to budget, prioritize your needs so you spend appropriately based on values and not greed, invest and watch your money work for you instead of you always working for your money) Intellectually (you have the capacity to acquire information that will be useful for your continuous development in every area of your life without your mind being crowded with worrisome thoughts etc.

If you make yourself the right person instead of always looking for the right person, you will find out that half of your problem in preparing and seeking for a life partner is well solved. Now the major thing in preparation is you must be a person of Truth, for without truth, we can never, and I mean never start the journey of love. For you need Truth to make way for Trust, without which there can never be growth in a relationship. People that can’t trust each other can’t grow together and what’s the point being in a relationship either marital or premarital and both of you can’t grow together? And people who don’t trust each other can’t have Respect for each other, so tell me how I can put you into consideration if I don’t respect you. As I see you as a person who is truthful, and I find out I can always trust you, I start to have a measure of respect for you that makes me to like you enough to be in Love with you, and at this point, I can share anything and everything with you, which brings me to the level of Intimacy. People think when they have sex with someone, they have become intimate with that person they slept with, but that is a big lie that we must not continue to buy. I can get very intimate with you by sharing truth with you, learning to have you trust me as I also trust you because you also tell me the truth which encourages my respect for your person to grow as I also position my person as a trustworthy person also worthy of respect. At this time if you look at me and say “I love you”, I don’t think you are a joker, I know you know what you are talking about, and if I say I love you too, then deep down me, I know that I know what I am talking about and not just saying it because it is the right thing to say since we are in a romantic relationship.

Today, I can tell you that a lot of us have so much work to do on and with ourselves. Most of us are not truthful to ourselves. We are so comfortable lying about who we are, what we should be doing, who we should be that when we start lying to others we may not even know we are lying anymore and that is even more dangerous. I have lied to myself so much that I don’t even know when I am lying to someone else anymore. And that is what a lot of us are experiencing in relationships right now. Someone comes to me and says “LOVE DOCTOR", I just found out that everything he told me about himself was a lie”. Then you ask how long she has been with him and she says for 3 years, and then you ask how come she didn't know, and she tells you because he naturally lives a lie that he doesn't even know when he is lying anymore, because it comes naturally with him. Now, such a person needs help, and that person can be you or me. Let’s consider our ways.

Someone else comes and says” in fact LOVE DOCTOR, he is everything I have ever wanted in a man. He is strong, and can control me, he makes decisions for us and I like that in a man, he is able to tell me off when I am wrong, he creates opportunities for me, and helps me to look into the future, I just thank God I found him”. My dear girl, you are such a liar that you don’t even know when you are lying to yourself anymore. This man you are talking about is married and has a wife and family at home. He lives in the company of his wife, so why do you want to crowd up their lives? Haven’t heard that two is a company and three is a crowd. Alright keep deceiving yourself until the rain is gone and then maybe you can see clearly then.

So what do we do as we chose to become the right person instead of always looking for the right person? Let’s start by considering our ways. Take some time out alone with yourself, seek for counseling not necessarily because something has gone wrong, but before something goes wrong, plan to attend a get-away that will help you spiritually, emotionally, psychologically etc.

Don't Forget June 20th 2015!