BEFORE YOU MARRY: STRICTLY SINGLES PART 4

OK! This is coming late, its deliberate, so you can digest Part 1 - 3 and understand what Marriage is all about. So if you missed 1 - 3 read PART 1, PART 2 and PART 3. Marriage isn't about you or how you feel. Marriage is a very complicated school with many benefits, if you do it right. We will continue with What your Marriage Expectations are? Remember in part 3 we talked about:

1. There is only one Mr. Right/Miss Right
2. Love is all about feelings
3. Everyone knows what to expect
4. Men don't Feel but think, while Women only Feel

Don't forget this section is divided into two parts, the false expectations in marriage and the true expectations.

We are still looking at the false expectations:

We all have an illusion on how we want our marriage to be, that we forget the reality of marriage itself.

False Expectation 5:

Everyone Should Marry: Our society have placed marriage above living and forget to teach the importance of marriage before suggesting. In some places singles and treated as low class people while the married people are given first class treatment. The idea of marriage is an excellent one, the purpose of God bringing two people together in marriage is for a purpose. But we must understand that the life-style and purposes of marriage isn't for everyone. This fiction is as strong as every married couple should have their "blood Children".

Remember not everyone in the bible were married in times of old and in the new testament. They were all about living a purposeful life. Marriage will be for you when you have discovered YOU, and understand what it takes to be committed to someone of different values and belief, culture and life style etc for the rest of your life. So before you consider Marriage think carefully because your decision will affect the rest of your life.

False Expectation 6:

Love is all you need in Marriage: This is because most people don't understand what love is. Love is an ingredient as discussed in part 1. Love isn't all about what you feel for one another, some people try to convince themselves of the warmth, positive and romantic feelings are all that is needed in a relationship. This is a tragic illusion that leads to divorce after marriage when all these is lost in marriage. Some think the temporary feelings can carry them through out their marriage time. These feelings are reinforced through movies and books, feeling all charming about your prince charming or princess in a tower. So have it in your mind, that Love isn't all you need to make your marriage work.

Let's look at the True Expectations

True Expectation 1:

You both have different needs/wants: You must first of all understand that God created everyone differently, so its very difficult for two people to think alike. What you like may not be same as what he/she likes. Some people marry because they are lonely, some is because they want to take care of another person, some for security, some for identity. Knowing very well, everyone comes from different family background don't expect them to fit into your upbringing. If you want to share your life with someone else, you must be prepared to learn what will make your marriage work. If you take your time to learn the other person's needs and wants you will be surprised it outcome. But the truth is you will be doing a great job for yourself as you wouldn't meet any surprises in marriage.

True Expectation 2:

Both of you must learn together: For you to grow, you have to be relational, be ready to learn and accept changes. You must make a choice to do your best in learning everything about your partner. Its a commitment to growing yourselves and preparing yourselves for marriage. We go to school to be educated and also to have a certificate, but forget to learn about marriage, the school you enter with a certificate. Rather than base your marriage on feelings and moods, base it on Will and Attitude. You must be able to meet each other's new dimension in life, because in marriage you will discover more of your strengths and weakness you didn't see in you as a single person. You must be ready to learn how to face your new challenges in marriage and respond in a positive way to it. The whole essence of this is to expect change in Marriage and accept growth. And have this in mind "Marriage Covenants are based on the concept that two people will remain with each other through out their life time, except death do them path.

BEFORE YOU MARRY: STRICTLY SINGLES PART 5 coming soon!

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