BEFORE YOU MARRY: STRICTLY SINGLES PART 3

BEFORE YOU MARRY: STRICTLY SINGLES PART 1 read HERE. PART 2 HERE, We moving on to PART 3. How often do you ask yourself these questions: Why do I want to get marry? What is the Purpose of Marriage?What is marriage all about? What kind of marriage do I want? Is marriage for me? Am I ready for Marriage? 

What are your Marriage Expectations?

This section is divided into two parts, the false expectations in marriage and the true expectations.

Let's look at the false expectations first:
We all have an illusion on how we want our marriage to be, that we forget the reality of marriage itself.

1. There is only one Mr. Right/Miss Right: it is very wrong to think there is only one Mr. right for you. Some people misinterprets God's will in Marriage. God's Will isn't necessarily about only one person in your life. God's Will isn't about choosing the available person. You must understand that God will present you with choices to choose from, same as you face different challenges sometimes in life at the same time. We are created to relate to several potential partners in a responsible manner. Same way we have the opportunity to meet different people and have different experiences. Don't forget Love is based on Will, Attitude and Commitment. The idea of Mr Right/Miss Right can only be established after marriage God is the author of many choices and He has a whole lot of responsible creature who can follow His will. Another idea of Mr Right/Miss Right is because we are scared of losing the present person that makes us careful and very rigid, frightened and foolish in our choice. People think God designed only one person for them, and unless the find that particular person their life isn't complete or we are not living God's purpose for marriage. So please stop that if I don't marry him I wouldn't marry another, says who. And what if he/she marries another, what will you say about God's will in that.
2. Love is all about feelings: Remember you can love things not just a person, a place or a moment. Love is Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. So you see Love Isn't all about feelings. What happens when you don't feel anything for the person anymore. You loved her/him because he/her was slim, after marriage he/she adds 20kg, you start feeling less for her/him. Before you know you fall out of love with the person. Feelings comes and go depending on circumstances surrounding us, especially in marriage.
3. Everyone knows what to expect: there is this thing about people, they forget they are marrying a totally different person from themselves. Someone who grew up in a different home, where things were done differently from your home. We forget other families have a way of doing their things. When we become a set of new family we forget to check the habits and signals of our partner. As a family, there is no single right way of doing things, no rules to meet our expectations. When you come together you shouldn't expect sudden change. The fantasy everyone should know what to expect from each other is especially true with regard to sexuality. Your partner can only become a good partner to you when you both learn their thoughts and ways. This is another reason Marriage Preparation is very important. You must devote yourselves to learn what the other person believes, understands, prefers, cares about, dislikes, likes and has grown up with. Marriage life has a lot of surprises as it is. So you must understand its concept.
4. Men don't Feel but think, while Women only Feel: Our culture taught men to hide their feeling for a long time and only allowed to express their thoughts (thinking). they equally possess the same amount of feelings as women, They have only learnt to cover them up and swallow them or fake them. There are amazing numbers of men who can show their feelings. Some men don't even believe their have the feelings of fear, sadness or pains. Many men have issues recognizing and handling how women feel. They condition themselves to be super thinkers and women feelers with little sense. The tragedy here is women are treated as emotional luxuries, having no rational competence with this thinking an entire set of talents and abilities has gone to waste. You must see yourselves as someone God gave equal ability emotionally, to think and feel.

Read PART 4 

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