Friday 31 January 2014

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY DEAREST WIFE






HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY DEAREST WIFE OF MY YOUTH! IKANA!!! Seriously,i'm short of words to describe how its been,SWEET! GREAT! HILARIOUS! SUPPORTIVE! BEARING WITH ME! ENJOYING...How do i say this,i think your essence is captured in the manual of life proverbs 31:10-31! Since you came into my life,things have changed because you came with one mission to just make my life sweet! And I've got no choice as you've sown i'm bound to make sure that we celebrate more sweet years together. HAPPY BIRTHDAY AND ALL OUR WISHES,GOALS AND ASPIRATIONS THEY'LL ALL COME TO PASS IN THE SHORTEST POSSIBLE TIME! I LOVE YOU SO VERY MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday 22 January 2014

THE FIVE PRINCIPLES OF PERFORMANCE BY ZIG ZIGLAR

Productivity

Much of success is about performance. It’s about what we do and what we are able to inspire others to do. There are some simple performance principles I have learned in my life, and I want to share them with you. They really bring success, and what it takes to be successful, into sharp focus. They are also the basis for developing and maintaining an expectation of success.

The Five Principles of Performance

1. We generally get from ourselves and others what we expect. It is a huge fact that you will either live up or down to your own expectations. If you expect to lose, you will. If you expect to be average, you will be average. If you expect to feel bad, you probably will. If you expect to feel great, nothing will slow you down. And what is true for you is true for others. Your expectations for others will become what they deliver and achieve. As Gandhi said, “Be the change you wish to see in the world.”

2. The difference between good and excellent companies is training. The only thing worse than training employees and losing them is to not train them and keep them! A football team would not be very successful if they did not train, practice, and prepare for their opponents. When you think of training as practice and preparation, it makes you wonder how businesses survive that do not make significant training investments in their people.

Actually, companies that do not train their people and invest in their ability don’t last. They operate from a competitive disadvantage and are eventually gobbled up and defeated in the marketplace. If you want to improve and move from good to excellent, a good training strategy will be the key to success.

3. You find what you look for in life. If you look for the good things in life, you will find them. If you look for opportunities to grow and prosper, you will find them. If you look for positive, enthusiastic friends and associates who will support you, you will find them. On the other hand, if you look for ways to cheat, you will cheat. If you look for ways to justify leaving your spouse, you will find them. If you look for justifiable reasons to hold a grudge against another person, you will find those, too. It is a natural tendency of us all to look for things that will justify what we think we need or want. If you are not living by the foundation stones of honesty, character, integrity, faith, love, and loyalty, you will be drawn to seeking selfish gratification, and that leads to misery and unfulfilled dreams. Whatever you have will never be enough. Always look for the good and for ways to help others. 

4. Never make a promise without a plan. Far too many people make promises they can never keep. They may have the best intentions in the world to keep their promise, but if they have not made a plan to keep it, they will not be able to do it. Business leaders who make promises to their employees will not honor them if they do not create a plan on how the promises will be kept. If you make a future commitment, you must understand and be willing to do whatever it takes to complete that commitment. One of the reasons marriage commitments fail so frequently is because the husband and wife do not understand what it takes to have a great marriage. They do not plan for or understand the sacrifices each must make for the other to enable a long-lasting relationship.

5. Happiness, joy, and gratitude are universal if we know what to look for. I believe you can have everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want. All people want happiness and joy in their life, but you have to know what produces real happiness and how to do the things that produce it. The moment you begin to worry about the things you want and the things you don’t have in life is the moment you will lose your gratitude for what you actually have. If you are ungrateful, you will never be satisfied or content or joyful about your life. The greatest source of happiness is the ability to be grateful at all times.

The Right Attitude 

Obviously, the right attitude to expect the best in your life is a positive attitude. But I want to be very clear that the kind of positive attitude I describe is not one that is contrived or falsely manufactured to impress or manipulate others. The positive attitude I talk about is one that you are filled with, and when you are jostled, it just spills out! What I’m saying is that a genuinely positive attitude is part of who you are at your core.

If you have a bad attitude, it is a reflection of who you are, as well. It’s a “heart condition,” and to get rid of that bad attitude, you need a change of heart. I would be remiss if I did not encourage you by saying that God is the most amazing heart surgeon available to us all. He does not just repair a bad heart; He can give you a new one that your body will not reject. The new heart He provides will produce love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control in your life. When you have those characteristics and qualities in your life, you will be rightfully positioned to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are truly born to win.

Zig Ziglar was known as America’s Motivator. He authored 32 books and produced numerous training programs. He will be remembered as a man who lived out his faith daily.
Thanks to Bridget Eleshin! 

Tuesday 14 January 2014

BEFORE YOU GET MARRIED,PLEASE THINK IT THROUGH WELL!

It was at our fifth session together that she opened up and said “I never really wanted to marry him, but for the fact that he wanted it more than I did”.
Why didn’t you want to marry him I asked? And she said “because after I paid him a visit at home and OBSERVED what was really going on there, I knew this was not a place for me”. She had dated him for a while and then decided to go and have a feel of what his family was really like. When she got there, she realized that:

1)    His mother does not go to Church, but had beads around her like those who were into idol worship.

2)    His siblings had children around, but not for anyone in particular

3)    One of his siblings was dealing with insanity

4)    Another sibling who was not through with a GCE certificate yet, had moved out to live with a girl in a rented room, close by. He later died with his girlfriend of AIDS.

5)    And that her boyfriend then who is now her husband was the only one who seemed to be making progressive efforts.


I went ahead to ask her why she still went ahead with the Marriage, and she said because:

1)    He was the only Boyfriend she had throughout her studies in the university

2)    By the time she was graduating, she was already 31, and thought it will be crazy to start thinking about going into a new relationship, and so will rather take the chance

3)    He was beginning to date other girls then, and told her that he was more into them, because she was not ready to marry him, which scared her, and made her get married to him to hold unto him.


Now they are married, and guess what? He has continued to be into other women like he always has, and so marriage did not stop that. He is so disconnected from his children, and wants nothing to do with them, I guess an aftermath of being disconnected from members of his own father’s house and thinking starting his own family may put an end to the void that comes from BEING APART from a home. Always thinking less of his wife, and not being able to complement her for anything, which I believe is as a result of not thinking much of himself too, and not being able to overcome within himself the shame from his father’s house that has stuck to him like a Siamese twin.

At this point I only asked her a question, “WHY DIDN'T YOU TALK TO A QUALIFIED COUNSELOR”? Because I believe if she has, there is a probability that she wouldn’t be in the mess she finds herself today. She is in a situation where every breakthrough she seemed to get in life is FRAMED in dishonor. It’s like a case of having Blessings with sorrow added to it. She has what a lot of women are seeking for, and even lives in a part of the world that any ambitious woman will want to stay, because of the opportunities there, but finds it difficult to count her blessings and name them one by one, because her mistakes seem to be over growing and chocking her miracles. In a land of plenty, she becomes lean, and in an environment filled with Joy, she lives with endless sadness. As for the man she is married to, he doesn’t know the difference, and doesn’t believe he needs help either, he just lives with wife and children like he is the STRANGER that he is.

Now that’s what happens when you marry someone, Male or Female from a strange house, he may never become a friend, but remains a STRANGER bringing strange things into your life and destiny. It’s even sadder these days when a girl meets a guy for 3 days and already tells you in counseling that she is so much in love with him, which is what you get in a loveless society, where any little show of so called affection sweeps the inexperienced girl off her feet.

I am still counseling with this lady, and believe she needs a separation from this stranger, and by the way, the stranger rapes her now when she says no to sex, because she is afraid he may infect her with an STD. Thank God they live in a Country where he can be arrested and jailed unlike OUR AFRICA where men believe they can do whatever they want to women and get away with it, until the women in Africa know and stand up for their rights that their Governments will be forced to acknowledge.

Parents use to INVESTIGATE the Family their children want to marry into in those days, but it is not done anymore. Please before you get married to someone, if you are not comfortable with what you see because it is glaring within his or her family, kindly postpone wedding plans and seek God who REVERSES every irreversible to come and intervene in the life of your partner, or call off the wedding plans and run, run, run.

DO YOU NEED TO TALK?
whatsapp: +234708 775 1242
Twitter: @danielakpata

Saturday 11 January 2014

MARRIAGE INTENSIVE WORKSHOP. for february 10th-12th

Friends this is a golden opportunity for a people who want to do it right and also be a blessing to other people in your church,mosque,community and work  place! These are my mentors from the U.S.A and have been in the business of marriage counselling for more than two decades. Its a 3day intensive workshop that will equip you for life! February 10th 11th and 12th
While advanced class which i'll be attending is 13th and 14th of February,2014.

Tuition:N20,000 if you go by yourself,but if we register you,its N15,000
 Time: 8am-3pm daily.
Venue is MAINSPRING VENTURES LTD
Suite 6,Block B,
Alausa shopping mall (2nd floor) 131,obafemi Awolowo way,Alausa,ikeja,Lagos.

WHO SHOULD ATTEND?
Singles,Married,Divorced,Coaches,mentors and Ministers.

WHAT DO YOU STAND TO GAIN?
Get certified as a marriage mentor/Relationship Coach.
Ultimate Preparatory  workshop for singles and engaged couples.
Accurate Diagnoses of your Marital Problems.
practical skills for the next level in your relationship.

If you are interested please call 08023810372 limited seats available and i mean it!

Wednesday 8 January 2014

LADIES BEFORE YOU SAY I DO!


How can you be dating a guy for 7 years? The most you do should be 2 years, and that's even too much. After the 2nd year and no marriage plans, when you receive a call while with him, and he says who is that? Tell him oh, I was talking to THE BLUNT LOVE DOCTOR. If he asks, who is that, tell him "THE BLUNT LOVE DOCTOR is my Matchmaker, he is helping me to meet other guys who may be interested in relationships that lead to Marriage".

Or perhaps you may call him, and tell him "Darling, I won't be able to give you a Birthday gift this year because the money I should have used to do so, I have invested it in consulting with THE BLUNT LOVE DOCTOR. THE BLUNT LOVE DOCTOR is working with me to help me forget you, and find someone who may be serious about Marriage, he has already helped some of my friends that are married today, and I believe he will be helpful for me too", but never mind, I will send you an e-card from yahoo.

Date a guy for 4 years and become a MORON, for 5 years and become an IMBECILE, for 6 years and become an INVALID, for 7 years? What do you think you have become without even knowing it? Come on, WAKE UP!

My sister, stop being foolish, when a guy wants to marry you, he usually has no time to waste. He meets you now, makes a decision within 6 months, makes his intentions known, starts to make CONCRETE PLANS, and does not start borrowing money from you or asking that you help him pay for the house both of you will move into after the wedding. He has had marriage on his mind, and has also PLANNED FOR IT. He knows what Marriage is all about, and knows it is to his benefit that he gets married. He does not think he is doing you a favour by getting married to you, but rather believes he has found favour with God by meeting you.

When you meet a guy who says he never had marriage in mind until he met you, that's also great, but don't jump at it until he has agreed to go for Pre-Marital counselling, and he knows exactly what marriage is all about. He may find out that it’s not marriage he had in mind when he met you, but living with you as long as it lasts before he moves to the next person he has that same feelings for again.

When you say I DO in Marriage, you are saying: I always will be committed to YOU ALONE. I always will PROTECT WHAT WE HAVE. I ALWAYS will keep my thoughts and feelings INTACT FOR YOU. I always will look to God to show me HOW TO LOVE YOU, and never assume I know how to. I always will grow with you, and NEVER OUTGROW YOU.

If someone says he or she wants to marry you, and you are becoming uncomfortable about the proposal, you may CONSULT with me on: WHATSAPP : +234708 775 1242

LOOK OUT FOR MARCH 8TH 2014 FOR SEASON 3 RELATIONSHIP SUMMIT. VENUE IS SWEET SENSATION,OPEBI,IKEJA LAGOS. 12:30PM PROMPT

Monday 6 January 2014

PRE-MARITAL SEX (Part One)

PRE-MARITAL SEX (Part One)
I often receive calls from Ladies raining curses on the men that broke their heart, 40% threatens to kill them, 30% never want anything with a man ever again, 20% will accept things as they are and move on to make the same mistake, while only 10% learn from their mistake and never repeat them.

Premarital sex have become a norm in our society, but it is very wrong that young minds will have to be sexually active when they are not married. It pains me when a girl of 15 calls to ask what she should do to get her boyfriend back. And I usual must ask, what the hell are you doing in a relationship. And her answer will be I DON’T KNOW. Ok! So why are you having problems with him, and same answer, I DON’T KNOW. Ok! So when did he change suddenly, now this is usually the most interesting answer, Its started when I asked him why he is cheating on me, is it that am not satisfying him sexually anymore. Lord have mercy! At 15? My joy is they share their problems and listen when I talk to them about the implications of premarital sex.

Premarital sex should be a concern of all worthy people and should be frowned at. We must understand that Sex was ordained by God and He made it perfect. If He wanted everyone to be involve just like that He wouldn’t have said that It is not good that man should be alone;…

Reasons why most people get involve in premarital sex:
*  Wrong definition of Love
*  To be sure if the woman is fertile or capability of child-bearing.
*  To know if both parties are compatible in bed.
*  Lust over the flesh.
*  Lack of self-control.
These are just a few of many of the reasons.

You must also understand that there are many consequences of
premarital sex let look at a few of them:

1.      Premarital sex is the cause of some married couple’s problems. Why? It is because it generated suspicion, lack of trust on the man towards his wife in the absence of the woman or man suspicious became an intermediate state. This is because they have both tested it before marriage and feels any other person can access it too.

2.      It’s a stigma of disgrace on the woman’s part; the woman or the man is not conscience free more especially when pregnancy is evident. The two lack boldness amidst their peer-groups and neighbourhood.

3. The beauty of the woman prior to her marriage begins to wean in the mind of the husband after being married. The reason being that for the fact there was a premarital sex involved it brings doubt of infidelity on the man or woman. Now this is when some men go looking for “fresh blood” and even some women too.


Ladies you must understand that you suffer the most when you get involve with someone you’re not married to. Always remember these questions and let them be on your mirror.
·       Please when two people have sex, who gets pregnant BOY/GIRL?
·       If they choose the option of abortion of which most times that's the way it goes, who goes for the very painful abortion BOY/GIRL?
·       If there are complications and someone looses a womb please who loses a womb BOY/GIRL?
·       If they decided to keep the baby who drops out from school to have a baby BOY/GIRL?
·       In the case of stigma and someone is being referred to as ''after on'' who gets the stigma BOY/GIRL?
·       From all the happenings so far who do you think is most stupid BOY/GIRL?
·       Seriously, who ought to be wiser BOY/GIRL?
·       TO EVERY GIRL, LADY OR WOMAN,
·       PLEASE WISE UP AND CLOSE UP!
·       ITS BETTER TO PAY NOW AND PLAY LATER!

For counselling and help in your relationship please book a session with a certified relationship coach DANIEL AKPATA Please call 08023810372.

Look out for our Relationship Summit coming up in MARCH 2014!







Saturday 4 January 2014

AWAKEN THE LEADER IN YOU: 10 Easy Step To Developing Your Leadership Skills.

The miracle power that elevates the few is to be found in their industry, application, and perseverance, under the promptings of a brave determined spirit.  Mark Twain
  
Many motivational experts like to say that leaders are made, not born. I would argue the exact opposite. I believe we are all natural born leaders, but have been deprogrammed along the way. As children, we were natural leaders - curious and humble,  always hungry and thirsty for knowledge, with an incredibly vivid imagination; we knew exactly what we wanted, were persistent and determined in getting what we wanted, and had the ability to motivate, inspire, and influence everyone around us to help us in accomplishing our mission. So why is this so difficult to do as adults? What happened?  As children, over time, we got used to hearing, No, Don't, and Can't. No! Dont do this. Don't do that. You cant do this. You cant do that. No! Many of our parents told us to keep quiet and not disturb the adults by asking silly questions. This pattern continued into high school with our teachers telling us what we could do and couldn't do and what was possible. Then many of us got hit with the big one  institutionalized formal education known as college or university. Unfortunately, the traditional educational system doesn't teach students how to become leaders; it teaches students how to become polite order takers for the corporate world. Instead of learning to become creative, independent, self-reliant, and think for themselves, most people learn how to obey and intelligently follow rules to keep the corporate machine humming.  Developing the Leader in you to live your highest life, then, requires a process of unlearning by self-remembering and self-honoring. Being an effective leader again will require you to be brave and unlock the door to your inner attic, where your childhood dreams lie, going inside to the heart.  Based on my over ten years research in the area of human development and leadership, here are ten easy steps you can take to awaken the Leader in you and rekindle your passion for greatness:
 
1. Humility. Leadership starts with humility. To be a highly successful leader, you must first humble yourself like a little child and be willing to serve others. Nobody wants to follow someone who is arrogant. Be humble as a child  always curious, always hungry and thirsty for knowledge. For what is excellence but knowledge plus knowledge plus knowledge - always wanting to better yourself, always improving, always growing.  When you are humble, you become genuinely interested in people because you want to learn from them. And because you want to learn and grow, you will be a far more effective listener, which is the #1 leadership communication tool. When people sense you are genuinely interested in them, and listening to them, they will naturally be interested in you and listen to what you have to say.
  
 2. SWOT Yourself. SWOT is an acronym for Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, and Threats. Although its a strategic management tool taught at Stanford and Harvard Business Schools and used by large multinationals, it can just as effectively be used in your own professional development as a leader. This is a useful key to gain access to self- knowledge, self-remembering, and self-honoring.   Start by listing all your Strengths including your accomplishments. Then write down all your Weaknesses and what needs to be improved. Make sure to include any doubts, anxieties, fears, and worries that you may have. These are the demons and dragons guarding the door to your inner attic. By bringing them to conscious awareness you can begin to slay them. Then proceed by listing all the Opportunities you see available to you for using your strengths. Finally, write down all the Threats or obstacles that are currently blocking you or that you think you will encounter along the way to achieving your dreams.

   3. Follow Your Bliss. Regardless of how busy you are, always take time to do what you love doing. Being an alive and vital person vitalizes others. When you are pursuing your passions, people around you cannot help but feel impassioned by your presence. This will make you a charismatic leader. Whatever it is that you enjoy doing, be it writing, acting, painting, drawing, photography, sports, reading, dancing, networking, or working on entrepreneurial ventures, set aside time every week, ideally two or three hours a day, to pursue these activities. Believe me, you'll find the time. If you were to video tape yourself for a day, you would be shocked to see how much time goes to waste!

   4. Dream Big. If you want to be larger than life, you need a dream that's larger than life. Small dreams wont serve you or anyone else. It takes the same amount of time to dream small than it does to dream big. So be Big and be Bold! Write down your One Biggest Dream. The one that excites you the most. Remember, don't be small and realistic; be bold and unrealistic! Go for the Gold, the Pulitzer, the Nobel, the Oscar, the highest you can possibly achieve in your field. After you've written down your dream, list every single reason why you CAN achieve your dream instead of worrying about why you cant.

    5. Vision. Without a vision, we perish. If you cant see yourself winning that award and feel the tears of triumph streaming down your face, its unlikely you will be able to lead yourself or others to victory. Visualize what it would be like accomplishing your dream. See it, smell it, taste it, hear it, feel it in your gut.

   6. Perseverance. Victory belongs to those who want it the most and stay in it the longest. Now that you have a dream, make sure you take consistent action every day. I recommend doing at least 5 things every day that will move you closer to your dream.

   7. Honor Your Word. Every time you break your word, you lose power. Successful leaders keep their word and their promises. You can accumulate all the toys and riches in the world, but you only have one reputation in life. Your word is gold. Honor it.
 
8. Get a Mentor. Find yourself a mentor. Preferably someone who has already achieved a high degree of success in your field. Don't be afraid to ask. You've got nothing to lose. Mentors is an excellent mentoring website and a great resource for finding local mentoring programs. They even have a free personal profile you can fill out in order to potentially find you a suitable mentor. In addition to mentors, take time to study autobiographies of great leaders that you admire. Learn everything you can from their lives and model some of their successful behaviors.

   9. Be Yourself. Use your relationships with mentors and your research on great leaders as models or reference points to work from, but never copy or imitate them like a parrot. Everyone has vastly different leadership styles. History books are filled with leaders who are soft-spoken, introverted, and quiet, all the way to the other extreme of being out- spoken, extroverted, and loud, and everything in between. A quiet and simple Gandhi or a soft-spoken peanut farmer named Jimmy Carter, who became president of the United States and won a Nobel Peace Prize, have been just as effective world leaders as a loud and flamboyant Churchill, or the tough leadership style employed by The Iron Lady, Margaret Thatcher.  I admire Hemingway as a writer. But if I copy Hemingway, Id be a second or third rate Hemingway, at best, instead of a first rate Sharif. Be yourself, your best self, always competing against yourself and bettering yourself, and you will become a first rate YOU instead of a second rate somebody else.

    10. Give. Finally, be a giver. Leaders are givers. By giving, you activate a universal law as sound as gravity: life gives to the giver, and takes from the taker. The more you give, the more you get. If you want more love, respect, support, and compassion, give love, give respect, give support, and give compassion. Be a mentor to others. Give back to your community. As a leader, the only way to get what you want, is by helping enough people get what they want first. As Sir Winston Churchill once said, We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give. ■

Wednesday 1 January 2014

JAY Z CAUGHT CHEATING! GUESS WHO?

Late last night Beyonce reportedly confronted Jay-Z after she found condoms in his pocket. Things escalated rather quickly after a speechless Jay-Z confessed to infidelity with Beyonce’s former Destiny Child group member Michelle Williams.

Apparently Beyonce and Michelle had been hanging out often over the last couple weeks and according to reports Beyonce is not enough and Jay-Z decided to put the moves on Destiny Child member Michelle Williams.


After confessing to the affair Beyonce reportedly called him an “Ugly Camel looking mutha*ucka” and then said “I should have slept with Drake last month in Miami” This enraged Shawn Carter who was then punched in the eye by one of the prettiest ladies in the world, Beyonce Knowles.


Seriously, I’m wondering why you’ll be cheating when you are with a woman like beyonce! But really that’s to tell you that,no matter how famous and rich,it doesn’t answer to that,its more of DISCIPLINE and commitment to your VOWS!

HAPPY NEW YEAR MESSAGE FROM THE BLUNT LOVE DOCTOR!

I want to use this medium to say thank you to everyone who has made 2013 a memorable year for my family and I. To everyone who love what we do and has been a source of inspiration,we say lets do it again but on a higher level this year 2014! Welcome to a new year and we wish you what you wish yourself! But remember that for us to do the things we've doing before and expect a change is the best definition of INSANITY! In all you are set to do this year,PRIOR PROPER PREPARATION will PREVENT POOR PERFORMANCE!
Especially in your relationship,if you are not ready for marriage please i beg you steer clear relationships because all you'll get is heart ache being turned into a foot-mat! Before I lay this to rest i'll like to ask my sisters a very powerful question...Please when two people have sex,who gets pregnant BOY/GIRL? If they choose the option of abortion of which most times that's the way it goes,who goes for the very painful abortion BOY/GIRL? If there's complications and someone looses a womb please who looses a womb BOY/GIRL? If they decided to keep the baby who drops out from school to have a baby BOY/GIRL? In the case of stigma and someone is being referred to as ''after on'' who gets the stigma BOY/GIRL? From all the happenings so far who do you think is most stupid BOY/GIRL? Seriously,who ought to be wiser BOY/GIRL? TO EVERY GIRL,LADY OR WOMAN,PLEASE WISE UP AND CLOSE UP! ITS BETTER TO PAY NOW AND PLAY LATER!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!

For counselling and help in your relationship please book a session with a certified relationship coach DANIEL AKPATA Please call 08023810372. look out for our relationship summit coming up in MARCH 2014!