Dealing with Abusive Relationships
Three in seven women has experienced
violence in her relationship. Yea! That’s true. There are lot of women out
there with this awful experience, though they are some men too, affected by
this abuse. But you must understand that: It Is Not Your Fault and will never
be. And 0ne in ten men have also experienced abuse too.
People out there will probably be
asking what the hell you are still doing in such an abusive relationship. But
you see it is more complex than what we see or feel towards these people
abused.
Now this is
what you must do:
Take a break or Leave: you need to give yourself a break from that
relationship or if possible leave, you need to be SAFE.
See a Counsellor: If you are married and have kids and they are present
in this abuse, you need to take them to live with a relative or take them
someplace safe. This abuse will definitely have a negative effect on them.
You need to talk to someone who can help you out. If you are still courting/dating
and really intent marrying both of you need serious counselling session with a
professional to help both of you work it out.
In
case of physical abuse: Inform your family members and friends
of the situation. Get the police involved, if you can. Take pictures. If you
find it difficult to leave, encourage him/her to see an anger counsellor. Or refer
him/her to read 5 tips to tame your
temper (Anger Management) on my blog. If he refuses, please leave. The
situation will not change without professional help and without his desire to
change.
Protect
yourself. In order to protect yourself, look for any specific
triggers. Is he abusive when he drinks, or after a bad day of work? Or does he
just snap at random times? When you see the signs try to leave the scene before
the situation escalates. If you’re unable to get out, try to contact a family
member or a close friend who may alert the police if necessary. Usually
a case of severe low self esteem is in place here. Men who are abusive may
think they are not good enough for the women or actually feel superior to them,
and have grown up to believe that women are lower in terms of status. In many
cases, the abusive boyfriend can poison your mind and destroy your life, and
cannot be happy for you truly because they are too focused on keeping you all
to themselves. The best way to deal with an abusive boyfriend is leave.
If you are still having trouble leaving the
relationship, build up your self confidence. One reason you might
not want to leave the relationship is you feel dependent on him. Realize you
are an amazing individual that deserves someone who will actually love you.
Hopefully, counselling will help you with this process.
In
all these you may not want your family or friends to know, but if you are in
danger, you really have to tell someone close to you or talk to a counsellor as
earlier mentioned.
If you have read Signs of an abusive relationship and your friends and loved ones
are going through these signs, the best thing you can do is never, ever leave
them. Have their back and wait until they feel comfortable enough to admit to
it. You can’t force someone to get help until they want it, but keep in mind
that they need you.
Unhealthy relationship is one of the biggest
problem our generation is facing. Just know that your friends and families will
still love you. There is nothing to be ashamed of.
If it has happened already or is
happening to you, you know what it feels like. It can happen to anyone,
anywhere, at any time, so be careful who you give your heart to. But remember you
must be SAFE.
ARE YOU ABUSED OR DO YOU NEED HELP
IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP?
BOOK A SESSION WITH THE ONLY TRUE BLUNT
CRAZY LOVE DOCTOR, DANIEL AKPATA CALL NOW 08023810372 FOLLOW ON TWITTER
@danielakpata OR send a mail to ikanadaniel@gmail.com
LOOK FORWARD TO MARCH 8TH 2014 FOR
ANOTHER RELATIONSHIP SUMMIT.
WHY RELATIONSHIP: UNDERSTANDING WHY IT MAY OR
MAY NOT WORK. A MIND-WASH SESSION
